08 February 2012
The Third Date Rules – part Two
Third Date Rules for over 50’s
I am new to dating what is the Third Date Rule?
Since my last blog The Third Date Rule, it has become clear to me that there is a definite need for more information about this rule. More and more people have been searching answers to these terms on the internet and all point in the same direction. What are the third date rules for over 50’s? or I am new to dating what is the Third Date Rule? are two of the more common questions.
Whether your are new to dating or have dated for a while, whether you are 20 or over 50, the question is still the same and needs an answer. To simply say that it is a myth or a misconception is no longer a good enough answer for those who want to know. It is obviously something being spoken about and there is a need for further clarification.
Dating should be an exciting time with minimum complications and it usually is. Suddenly you hear the term “the third date rule” and you have no idea what it means. What are you supposed to do, or not do?
What does it mean and where did it come from?
In short, the word “rule” is misapplied in this phrase. There is no rule (per se). The phrase has become more popular since Charlie Sheen used it in the TV sitcom “Two and a half Men” a few times and it refers to him usually striking it lucky on the third date with a girl. Not everyone watches the sitcom and thus is confused what this all means.
So therefore, what this rule implies is that people are more comfortable (and trusting) to have sex with someone on the third date rather than on the first or second date. It is important to note now that you should only do what feels right for you and when it feels right for you and not let yourself be pressured into being intimate with someone when you are not ready to do so irrespective of how often you have seen each other before you do so. There is no right or wrong time to decide when to take it to the next level, whether it is on the first, third or tenth date.
Since this phrase is now more popular these days, there is an unspoken expectation that the third date is “the” date that things might happen with some action in bed. If you intend to play for keeps and you are not in a hurry to ‘test the goods’ so to speak, especially not on the third date, then there is no reason why it can’t be delayed by another date or two. I personally reject the third date rule out of principle and since doing so feel more at ease and relaxed towards my date when we are on date number three. If my date is not prepared to wait then I have lost nothing at all and just move on.
Getting to see your date for the third time also adds another dimension to the whole dating game.
On your first date you are taking in a lot of information, then go home and ‘digest’ all of what you have heard, what you have seen and anything else that has happened on that date. The mind is tricky and usually remembers the ‘good’ stuff, the good vibes, and the feel-good endorphins kick in especially if the date went great. Your radar may not have been up.
Come date two and you get another opportunity to assess this other person who could potentially become part of your life. More information is filtered through to your brain and it confirms to you that “yes, you like this person and want to see him/her again”.
And then comes date three. At this point you are not sure what to do next because you “know” there is a “third date rule” but have no idea what to do with it and might actually feel some apprehension about these unknown perceived expectations.
What do you do on a third date?
It is very simple: YOU decide if there is to be a so-called “rule” or not with your new date. If you are concerned of your date’s expectation for your third date and you’re not ready to be intimate, then you could casually mention something prior to meeting each other that you’d be happy to meet “without expectations”. Saying “without expectations” makes it pretty clear that it’s just another opportunity to meet each other, get to know each other without taking it to bed.
Talking about it beforehand allows you to feel confident and comfortable to meet your date and before you notice it, you’re on date four. What happens after date three is entirely up to you.