Parents Wanting Partners
1 January 2012, Happy New Year!
This is a blog for single parents. With this blog I am hoping to raise the awareness of single fathers, single mothers, relationships and hopefully change the perceptions of many towards the often associated stigmas as a single parent.
This is a blog about single parents who are rebuilding a shattered life after a relationship has ended and at the same time being the best they can be to their child or children.
Lastly, this is also about my own journey of growth, as a single mum with a beautiful toddler daughter, who has helped me find myself and experience more joy than I had ever thought possible.
Raising Little Miss M* is a project I had wanted to write about for quite some time and since there is no better time than the present, with a new year ahead filled with hopes and dreams, opportunities and a renewed energy I have not felt these last two years, why not just do it. I am hoping to share with you the highs and lows as a single mum and other interesting stories that may come along, helping others to heal, to laugh and to cry … all part of the process.
Why Parents wanting Partners? When I first separated all I wanted to do was to immediately find the man of my dreams and replace the man who was my dream, rebuild a family life that no longer was. When my daughter was born my visions were of her father and her mother (me) walking along the beach together, holding hands and watching our child grow, together. Life does take interesting turns and twists, often very unexpected and there is usually little room for negotiations.
My immediate need became a concern when I realised that most men in my age group (40 – 49) were looking for women eight to ten years younger than they were (to have kids with). And the men who were just a few years older than me, aged between 51 to 57, were usually no longer interested in “doing the family thing” and were experiencing their own mid-life crisis, wanting to travel and ride a motor bike. Phew, this was not going to be easy!
And then there was this new group of men. Someone I would not have considered if I didn’t have a little girl myself. Men, who are full-time single fathers! A very often underrated group of devoted fathers who are doing what single women have done for many years, just quietly there in the background, going along their daily lives.
“The role of a parent is to provide hope to a child in an uncertain world”. (Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart)
After discovering this whole new world of dating “difficulties” where children are involved I realised that there is more to this than meets the eye. I have met several full-time single fathers for coffee or dinner and kept hearing the same stories over and over. I have also met a few fathers who are struggling to come to terms with no longer being able to see their children as often as they used to and shared their pain more than I wanted to admit (to them). This is a topic I will soon write more about as it does lie close to my heart.
I hope you enjoyed my writing for today. I am new to blogging but certainly would appreciate your comments, feedback or your own stories if you would like to share. Over the coming days and weeks the next few topics (in no particular order) are:
- A mother’s voice
- A father’s voice – the other side
- I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened
- There you go!
- Camera, lights, action!
- Just do it!
*Little Miss M is used to keep identities private